I don’t know about you, but I was taught to believe that saying “no” was rude. Even if it was softened by “thank you.”
To be polite, nice, kind or a “good girl,” I had to agree to accommodate and be helpful as much as possible.
I also allowed myself to get pulled into whatever the people around me were feeling because I wasn’t holding my own space. I thought I was being “nice”.
As the COVID-19 situation unfolds, the majority of people are stressed and on edge not only with the media bombardment but also with the length and increasing strictness of the stay at home orders and quarantines.
Being able to hold your boundary so that you’re not as negatively affected by other peoples’ emotional state is extremely important in maintaining and strengthening your own center — both emotionally and on spirit level.
Sometimes people feel temporarily better when others get freaked out with them.
But, ultimately sharing their freak out doesn’t actually help them long term and it makes things heavier and harder for you, especially if you’re not strong enough to hold a neutral space.
Saying no to that, while acknowledging that is true for them, with kindness AND firmness not only will help you maintain your frequency vibration, it helps them by modeling a much higher resonating possibility.
In this week’s episode (#59), The Power Of No, Dennis and I discuss why it’s essential to be able to say no, how it helps us to hold our space on spirit level, and how it can propel us forward.
We recorded this episode prior to the appearance of COVID-19, so we don’t address it directly but the information on the power of no is more relevant than ever right now.
The free Group Frequency Calibration® (GFC) at the end is the most important part. It will help you begin to be able to discern your own space and to be able to hold it by saying no (again — politely AND firmly).
If you don’t start to release these distortion patterns, you’ll feel exhausted from feeling the heaviness of the fear or anxiety of others, and if you identify with being a helper, you may find yourself feeling resentful because it seems like you’re stuck being the one who does all the work, the problem solving, the organizing, to your detriment.
Here’s to the clarity of no!!
Until next time,
Karen
SUMMARY:
• Many of us are taught that in order to be nice, we have to please everyone. Not true, and on spirit level this pattern of pleasing almost looks like self-abuse—like a person will sacrifice themselves in order to be pleasing.
• The space within your spirit body belongs to you alone, your higher self, and your connection to Pure Source. That’s it. “No” is a boundary, and without boundaries around your spirit body, you’ll have a much harder time with saying no to things.
• Women in particular are often expected—an expectation reinforced by family, culture, and religion—to take on the burdens of others. It’s difficult if not impossible for many women to say no, because the frequency distortions running through them require them to say yes.
• We all came here to learn something—you can’t liberate others from their own journey. Taking on other people’s garbage won’t help them. It’ll weigh you down and do nothing to liberate those others from their own problems.
• As you remove your distortion patterns, the more you’ll realize the sacredness of your own spirit body. You’ll feel the heaviness when someone tries to encroach on you, and you’ll want to hold your space. And you’ll feel more worthy of holding that space.
• Your ability to say no shows your ability to hold your space on spirit level. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with being with someone else’s discomfort. How neutral can you be in the discomfort of someone’s reaction to your no? When you do the work and realize you’re worthy of holding this space, you won’t feel the need to make another person’s reaction your problem.
• This is not about being mean or unkind and saying no to everyone without caring about the other person or negating everything all the time. This is about discernment about when to say no and being able to hold that boundary when required.